The Holidays are challenging for families with autism. Every year I dreaded the closer we got to Christmas break. After Halloween Matthew would start obsessing about Santa Claus and his list. The anxiety and behaviors were challenging through this time. Overstimulated by the lights, sounds, parties and change in routine. The two weeks off from school provided anxiety for the family on how to keep a structured routine for him. This is part of autism that they need a structured daily routine. When Matthew was younger we had a poster board hanging in our kitchen and I would use a picture schedule to show him what was going to happen in his day. He is very literal and if that schedule changed you had to show him because there would be crying. I stressed to family and caregivers the importance of the picture schedule for him.
For many years our routine would be trying to get through the Holiday season and then when the Holidays were over he would start obsessing about his Birthday, which was in July. We would change from making Christmas lists to Birthday lists. There was an obsession with gifts. We worked on this with therapists yearly.
My husband's family has a Christmas get together every year at the beginning of December. One time of year that all of his extended family gets together. They have a gift exchange for all the kids in the family. The gift for Matthew had to be a Thomas the Tank Engine train or there would be screaming! He would not understand and we would have to leave early.
When we would visit my family in Michigan I would bring his headphones for listening therapy, squeeze toys, anything that I thought would help him through the get together. I remember putting his headphones on him during the gift giving to help him cope. We were prepared at all times to leave the area. Many times we would carry him off crying to the room we were staying in to help him calm down.
One year we went out of town to my sister's house for Thanksgiving. Her in laws brought Christmas gifts for their family since they wouldn't be seeing them for Christmas. Matthew saw these presents and wanted to open them. This started a crying meltdown because he was not understanding that these presents were not for him. We spent a long time in our room helping him calm down and to understand those were not his. My sister hid the presents to help him calm down. Needless to say when you're out of town it's hard because you don't have all the things you need to help them calm down. After that we decided that we were going to stay at a hotel with a swimming pool whenever we visit. Swimming always calmed him down!
The older Matthew got the easier the Holidays got. He still needs a routine on the two week break and we don't stay long at gatherings. We can tell when he has had enough and he always has his ipod and ear buds to listen to music to calm him. As he got older his communication skills improved which helped.
We are thankful for many Therapists, Psychologists and Teachers that have helped us on this journey!! :)
